Trust = Time X Truth. This simple equation makes up every single human relationship that we have, including our relationship with our self-conscious. The more trust there is in a relationship, the more mutually beneficial the relationship is. We can’t make time go faster to increase trust, but we can all be more truthful.
Everyone lies. Yes, even you. People use words to manipulate the world into delivering what they want. It’s a rational idea, too. You are focused on achieving an end, and you use deceiving words to bring yourself closer to that end.
You don’t think that includes you? Here are some examples- maybe these are things you’ve done.
1. A friend comments on how much he liked a certain movie. You didn’t overly love it, but agree with him because you think it’ll grow your relationship.
2. Your parents ask you if you’ve done you’re homework. You’re planning to do it later, but just tell them yes to avoid a conversation about it.
3. On a date, your significant other decides to get all deep with you and talk about how hard life is. You don’t necessarily agree with it, and find life quite enjoyable, but hold your tongue and let her rant.
These are all common things to do. I’ve done them many times myself, and most people would say that they are even common acts of courtesy. However, this is dangerous to your very soul. You are being inauthentic. You are not speaking with your own voice, but with the voice the world would have you speak of. When you lie, you know it. You may not realize it or even feel guilty of it, but it morphs you into someone who will give up his/her values and beliefs to conform to the world.
For example, what if someone power hungry on your sports team makes a new rule. It’s annoying, and you don’t like it, but it’s not worth complaining about for you, so you smile and nod.
This changes you. The next time something like this happens, you’re a little bit less courageous. You aren’t sure how you truly feel about it, because you didn’t speak up the first time. Your willpower is like a muscle, and if you don’t exercise it by standing up for what you believe in, it will erode, and you will lose your willpower, your soul. You may gain more friends in the moment, but Christ said it best: What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?
The difference between being fully authentic and hiding your true feelings isn’t just a difference in words, it’s a difference in lifestyles. An authentic person is proud of who he is, where he came from, and where he’s going, and is thus more likely to have success. Because of the Truth he shows, other’s Trust in him will increase, leading to happier relationships. One who hides their feelings hides their very being, until it is so buried under people-pleasing propaganda that they can’t find it anymore.
Change today. Allow yourself to be who you are, and to express how you feel.